Mentoring a 15-year-old transgender student changes everything
We often talk about creating workplaces that welcome everyone, a dynamic that’s deeply important to me. I also believe that most people, including myself, don’t have a clear road map for how to make this happen.
Here’s what I do know. Creating an inclusive work environment is a daily, intentional act. And if I really believed that inclusion was an imperative for me, my team and my company, it was time for me to step into someone else’s shoes.
The GenderCool Project
Recently, I mentored a high school student through a rotation with The GenderCool Project, a youth-led movement that’s helping the world understand how talented transgender and non-binary young people are.
This was made possible by my employer, Intuit, where the mentoring program is helping us move toward our Diversity, Equity and Inclusion (DEI) goals. Intuit has a partnership with GenderCool, helping to elevate the voices of 17 Champions (young people ages 12–17 who lead the work for this non-profit).
When we participate in a mentorship program, we open our teams to self-reflection and awareness. This impacts our culture today within our existing teams and prepares us for the future as we welcome the next generation workforce, who are markedly more diverse across a number of metrics than the generation before them.
This is how you create change
Participating in diversity training, in most places, does not create change. Often it leverages stereotypes of monolithic minority groups. It can be wrapped in a hollow message with little action. Where it nets out: the concept of diversity, equity and inclusion exists in the abstract for everyone because we don’t experience it much.
When this happens, the humanity of the endeavor easily goes missing. But DEI is an effort by people for the benefit of people in addition to the benefit of our business. Because youth mentorship is a relationship, it holds caring and accountability at the highest level.
Change happens within the context of the relationship.
My GenderCool mentee, Daniel, and I talked about creativity and confidence. We got our hands on Intuit’s design system. He presented a gap analysis of our style guide with solid recommendations. He shared tool tips and videos he created. Plus, Daniel explained how he started up a charity out of his high school. You won’t believe he’s 15 years old!
GenderCool provides a real human experience of diversity inclusion to build on.
One that left me feeling joy.
Come together across social boundaries
“When you hire a trans woman into your organization, you need to know what it means to be a trans woman working for you…We have to own the fact that we have constructed our lives in certain ways that we actually do not get a chance to experience people [who aren’t like us].”
— Wade Davis, Diversity, Inclusion & Why Tech Needs a Revolution
Mentoring Daniel provided me a vehicle for taking responsibility. How am I trying to connect with people who aren’t like me? How deliberate am I trying to understand my bias? How do I know myself alongside people with different life experiences?
Rosanna Durruthy, Vice President, Global Diversity, Inclusion and Belonging at LinkedIn, says we must connect. She often points to a PRRI study that found, “Among white Americans, 91% of people comprising their social networks are also white…Among black Americans, 83% of people in their social networks are composed of people who are also black.”
It’s not a stretch to imagine similar divisions also existing along dimensions like gender identity, sexual orientation and more. This is where GenderCool mentorship helps fill a gap. It connects us to each other and a purpose.
Be open and ready to learn
The GenderCool Champions are amazing students who inspired me to match their level.
My relationship with Daniel taught me that it’s what we do internally, within ourselves, that begins to change the landscape externally for all.
As a cis woman, I realized something so basic when talking with Daniel. I’ve never once had to think about my gender identity. This privilege creates all sorts of blind spots in what I’m able to perceive.
Honestly, it didn’t feel good to discover this about myself. For me, my obliviousness was the uncomfortable thing. Transgender people have been here all along.
It’s on me to overcome, especially in leadership, where the position provides the power to hire, to distribute high-profile projects, to develop direct reports, to make decisions for the group, to deem who is “professional,” and just generally convene reality at work.
Inclusion isn’t a “their problem.” It’s a “me and you” problem.
Is your company GenderCool?
Through the GenderCool experience, I truly learned about diversity inclusion. Daniel learned to prep for a tech job. Intuit’s learning how to evolve its workplace.
The GenderCool Champions may never choose to work at Intuit — despite our efforts to recruit! I’m grateful to learn from the brilliant and talented Daniel. Or, as everyone at Intuit describes him, “So on point!” When the time comes to set out on his own path, I’ll be there cheering him on every step of the way.
